What does a crow say?

You don’t know? You should ask Ninad that. As soon as you say crow, he says ‘kaaw kaaw’.

He can blabber some things like ‘ka’, ‘da’, ‘ta’, ‘ma’, ‘ba’, ‘pa’, but he can’t talk yet. He says ‘amma’ when he is crying, but he doesn’t address me as amma. He is very conscious whenever we ask him to say something. My mom has been teaching him to say ‘mama’ since so long and even though he can say it very well, he won’t. Sometimes, he says it unknowingly and when he realizes that he actually spoke, he feels shy and turns red. I don’t know what’s with this guy that he feels shy to talk! I have found a way to overcome this. I have associated some words with his friends. Lakshit says ‘dada’, Sanskriti says ‘baba’, Abhi says ‘mama’ and so on. If I want Ninad to say ‘dada’, I ask him ‘what does Lakshit say?’ and pat comes the reply ‘dada’. If I ask Ninad to say ‘dada’, he won’t utter a word.

Ninad can climb now. He climbs on everything – chairs, tables, beds, stairs – every single thing. He loves climbing on the dining table so that he can spill the water in the jug. That is his favorite past time now.

He is slowly taking notice of this thing called TV. He is interested in some of the ad jingles, serial title songs and so on. One favorite ad of his is the bubble gum ad in which the crow poops on a kid and the kid takes his revenge using the bubble gum. He likes the title song of Jogula. What’s with this serial anyway? Every woman (and some men too) I know is following this serial. I agree the serial is somewhat bold and tackles a controversial subject, but it’s not all that great, but I digress. Another ad that Ninad likes is the baby soap ad. When the mother is applying soap to the baby’s face, Ninad makes a crying face, fake of course. He enjoys his bath but for that part which involves putting soap on his face. So, whenever he sees this ad, he makes a face to say that the baby will also cry.

He loves phones – wired or wireless, landline or mobile, real one or toy. He puts it to his ears and tries to say hello. He likes anything that involves holes, screws, buttons, assembling and disassembling. I have got him this box of blocks which he loves. He likes books too. He looks at his alphabet books, points at the telephone and says hello, points at the grapes and the elephant. On the other hand, he has no interest whatsoever in coloring. I got him some crayons which he hardly cares about. I am guessing painting isn’t a career option for him. Songs are another attraction. I sing all the songs that I know and he still can’t have enough. I have ran out of lullabies and rhymes, if anybody has some suggestions, please let me know.

I am thinking of sending Ninad to a play home for a couple of hours a day. He is clearly bored at home and gets cranky. He goes to the park twice a day for an hour each, but that’s not enough. He loves kids and company, so I think he will enjoy at the play home. I also worry that he is probably too small to be going to a playhome. Any advice?

Two months at work

When I and my husband decided that we want to start our family, my immediate thought was ‘Okay, I will quit once the baby is here’. There was no dilemma, no confusion, no questions asked – it was just a plain, innocent looking statement – I will not work when I am a mother. Easier said than done.

I quit when I was 5 months pregnant. I spent the 4 months of my pregnancy savoring every moment. I was happy with my decision of quitting. I could take better care of myself and my baby. Eating well, eating at the right time, getting some exercise, spending time on puja and meditation, keeping myself calm… everything was working well. Then my baby arrived and my life did a somersault. I was thrilled that my baby was here. I enjoyed caring for him and being a mother, but I was not happy. I felt as if there was something missing in my life. I used to recall those days when I was working. The challenges, the pressure, the deadlines – I realized I enjoyed all these. Then it dawned on me, why did I quit at all?

I decided to get back to work when my baby turned one. The decision was anything but easy. It was very easy to quit, but it’s harder to get back to work. I was and still am in a dilemma. One part of me didn’t want to take the risk of going to work and seeing my child suffer. Another part of me wanted me to work and have my own life. With some push from my husband and divine intervention, I finally took the plunge and resumed work.

It’s been exactly two months since I started working and things are not all that bad. Yes, Ninad misses me and cries a bit when I leave for work, but he is not emotionally harmed. I was afraid that his development might be hampered if he misses me too much. Thank God, that hasn’t happened. I have a live-in maid who takes really good care of Ninad. For now, my mom stays with me, so I can go to work totally relaxed. I dread that day when she has to go back to her house.

I was talking to another working mother who has a two-year old child. I was hoping I could get some advice from her. My logic was that she has been doing this working-mom thingy for 2 years, so she should be past the guilty phase and she should be an expert in this. Wrong. I was completely wrong. She is in exactly the same phase as I am in. I thought the guilt and the emotional suffering will go away with time. Turns out that is not the case. And that is a piece of bad news for me.

So, what am I going to do? Take each day as it comes. Keep consoling myself that the fact that I am feeling guilty makes me a good mother. If things become too difficult to handle, quit and sit at home.

13 Months

Wait a minute, jumping from 11 months to 13 months directly? What happened to 12 months update? Well, the ever so important 12th month milestone came and went and yeah, I did not update. I am still a novice when it comes to balancing home and work and I still have to learn that art. After a month of being a full-time employee, I feel I am not doing justice to either work or home. When I am at work, I worry about what my baby is doing and feel guilty for leaving him back at home. When I am home, I feel bad for not paying enough attention at work. In the midst of all this, blogging takes the least priority.

Anyway, so what happened on Ninad’s birthday? We had a quiet, family affair where we cooked some good food and enjoyed with close friends and family. Ninad had a few friends come over (all below the 12 months mark) and they had a great time. There were 5 babies in all and they made sure we felt their presence. My house resembled a day care center and it was fun.

Ninad has become a big boy now, officially a toddler and he is making sure I know it. Overnight, he has transformed into this stubborn, troublesome monster of a kid and I wonder where my innocent and sweet child is. He gets mad if he doesn’t have his way. He realizes that I go away somewhere in the morning and won’t let go of me whenever I am around. It feels nice in a way, but I dread when that day will come when I have to go to work with tears in my eyes.

Ninu can officially ‘talk’ now, even though it’s just three words. He can say ‘Amma’, ‘Pa’ and ‘Ka’, the latter means crow, by the way. He sometimes say ‘bhoo’, meaning dog, but I don’t know if it is an accident or he actually means it.

My in-laws and my sister-in-law’s kids paid us a visit during Christmas vacation. My sister-in-law’s daughter took an instant liking to Ninad and it was mutual. Ninad just adores her and he would go behind her wherever she went. The little girl, all of 7 years, was so full of sisterly love that she would volunteer to watch Ninad when I was busy in the kitchen. She would sit with him and show him toys, sing songs and tell him stories. She even picked up a few Kannada words so that she could converse well with Ninad. The two little sister-brother pair, sitting there together, getting to know each other and showing affection – it was a sight to watch. Such strong was the attachment that on the day they left, the little girl went back crying. I felt bad for her and Ninad. She has promised to spend her summer vacation here. Hope that works out. Ninad would love to have his sister over.

That’s about it. Ninad is growing each day, learning new things and teaching me new things. Sometimes I wish he grows up fast and becomes independent so that I can go to work with no guilty feeling. On some days I feel he should be this sweet little child forever and never grow up.

One One Eleven

That’s Ninad in action (walking), wearing my handknit Pebble vest. I made one for Anya, Rima’s daughter, liked it a lot and had to make another one for Ninad.

Ninad is 11 months old. Some highlights:

1. Standing and walking came back to back. Ninu learnt to stand independently and just after a few days, he started to walk. ‘He walks’ is an understatement, more like ‘he runs’. He is so thrilled to walk, he hardly walks on fours now. He is proud to be on twos, more adult like.

2. I finally solved the disturbed sleep problem. I used to take him to the park in the evening, which was very close to his bedtime. He was getting overstimulated and thus the disturbed sleep at night. I started taking him to play earlier in the day and that has given all of us some much needed sleep.

3. He is cutting two bottom teeth. Yay!

4. Ninad tasted ice-cream for the first time and did he love it! The cold feeling on his gums and tongue was something totally new for him. He couldn’t stand the cold factor, but he loved the taste a lot.

5. He got his first proper haircut. I had a beauty parlor lady come over to my place. I was very sure he wouldn’t cry. I was more worried about his restlessness, which did give the parlor lady a hard time. In the end, the experience was good. I won’t worry about his next haircut.

6. Ninad says “Amma” now. Isn’t that great? It’s not like calling out or addressing me, but he has definitely learnt the word. Hurray.

7. Separation anxiety is at its peak. Its worse at night. I am starting full-time job next week and I am not looking forward to it. Ninu has gelled well with his nanny and my mom is here for a few days, so things should be fine. Keeping fingers crossed.

8. Curd rice is his favorite food right now. It works every single time.

9. He started identifying a lot of things. Clock, diya, book, donkey (his stuffed toy), rice, chapati and so on. You just have to ask him ‘how does the clock go?’ and he waves his finger to say ‘tick tock, tick tock’. We have a clock with a pendulum and that’s the reason behind his action.

10. His earrings are off, so he looks more boyish, though I still have to answer ‘No, it’s a boy’ many times even now.

11. I saw a new face of his when we went to stay over at my mom’s place. My brother has a 7 month old boy and Ninu likes him a lot. He can’t stand it if I, my hubby or my mom play with him. Possessiveness in all its ugly form! I had enough after two days. We cut short our stay.

Top Ten

The last month has been a roller coaster ride for all of us. My husband’s office moved to city outskirts and because of that he transformed into a weekend Dad.  Ninad used to really miss him. Come evening and Ninu would look for his dad everywhere. That is when we decided to move closer to the workplace. Luckily, we found an apartment right next to his office and that triggered off a host of events.

Now that our new house is just minutes away from the office, even I started thinking about resuming work. Having been working for 4-5 years, it is really hard to sit at home. I wasn’t idle, I had knitting and reading going on all the time, but the adrenaline rush of deadlines, the stress of delivering something on time is something else and I love it. Fortunately, I found a very good maid who can take care of Ninad in my absence. I know her since sometime and she comes highly recommended from her previous employers. She has been with us since a week now and Ninad is already paly-paly with her. I will be joining work in another month and by that time, I am very confident Ninad will settle in well with her.

That was my story. What was Ninad upto the last month? When we moved to our new house, he went through a phase of high stimulation. Every corner, every object in the house was new and his exploration would go on the whole day. He stopped taking naps altogether and he would even wake up at nights (3 am) and explore his new place. Thankfully, this happened only for a few days and now he is back to his original sleeping schedule. He has developed quite a few new expressions. He has a question mark on his face whenever he wants to know ‘where is Dad’ or ‘what is that new thing’ or ‘what are you feeding me’. He has a reserved naughty expression whenever he is upto some mischief. There is also a fake crying expression when he wants to have his way which turns into a naughty smile when I say ‘dramebaaz’.

He can stand very well without support. He tries to take a step, loses balance and sits down. Another 15 days, he will be walking for sure. His latest object of interest is the switch. He loves the action-response — switch on and the lights are on, the fan rotates. He plays with switches endlessly. Next on list is his stroller. No, he doesn’t like to sit in it, but uses it as a pushcart. He pushes the stroller all over the house – sometimes on his knees, sometimes walking.

Ninu has four pearly white teeth now and all of them appeared one behind the other in a span of few days. I was eagerly waiting for him to sprout his first tooth and here he already has four of them!

He loves the play area in our new apartment. There are many babies his age and he interacts with them a lot. He shows his love by pulling their hair or their nose and naturally, those babies don’t take it in the right stride and they start crying. I have to come to their rescue and take Ninad away, which makes him pull their hair even harder. It is a sight to watch!

Nine

Ninu reached the nine months mark a few days back. The past month saw a lot of changes in him. He pulls himself up and stands with support wherever possible. What that means is he can stand holding my dress, his dad’s trousers, my mom’s saree – anything. He is no longer satisfied with just standing, he climbs on things and that is scary. He is trying to stand without support, hope he masters this skill in the coming month.

Behavior wise, there has been a sea of change. Ninu can understand every single word I speak. He follows Marathi, but since I speak to him Kannada, that is what he is going to pick up first. He understands and points at all these things – fan (his favorite object), crow (very helpful at mealtime), flower (the one on the bedcover), Papa (hubby is one proud daddy now), cooker (Ninu is really scared of this), Didi (his cousin’s photo). If he sees something new, he wants to know what it is. He stretches his hand Amitabh Bachchan style and asks ‘Eeee?’ meaning he wants to know what that thing is. When I answer his question, he has a very thoughtful look on his face as if he really understood what I told him!

He has become a picky eater now. If I try to feed him something which he doesn’t care much for, he starts shaking his head to indicate No. The shaking continues for a full minute even after I abandon my attempts of feeding him. He can drink fluids from a glass now, as long as it’s not milk. Water, juice, buttermilk are fine in a glass, but milk has to be in a bottle. Something tells me weaning him off the bottle is going to be tough.

The greatest news is of course about teething. Ladies and gentlemen, Ninu is finally getting a tooth. I can see his upper tooth peeking through the gums. My guess is he will get atleast 4 teeth by the end of this month.

So, what’s awesome about me?

Munchkin’s mom from The Munchkin Blog tagged me to write about seven awesome things about me. Now, if the tag was about seven awful things, I would have blogged about it in no time, but since it is about awesome things, I took so long to finally get around to jotting it down. I turned to my hubby for ideas, but he wasn’t of any help. I guess he thinks there is nothing awesome about me. Sigh!

Okay, here goes. (Why am I suddenly so self-conscious!)

1. I am a quick learner. I grasp things really easily. I am quite good at it picking up a new technique or a new skill. I learnt knitting and crocheting all by myself and am quite good at them and that brings us to the second awesome thing about me.

2. I am quite good at knitting. You want proof? Okay, let me shed my inhibition and say I am a very good knitter. I am proud of myself that I learnt this skill on my own and even mastered it.

3. I am flexible, body wise. I have been working out in a gym on and off since 7-8 years. I have gone to 4-5 different gyms in these years and every time my instructor told me that my body is flexible. I can do crunches, sit ups, stretches with ease. How I wish I was a few inches leaner!

4. My pain threshold is high. I had a bad case of RSI (Reptetive Stress Syndrome) and had severe neck pain. I underwent physiotherapy to treat that and the lady who used to treat me was amazed that I can handle so much of pressure. She was the first person who brought it to my notice that my pain threshold is higher than average. This was proved once again when I went through 20 hours of labor with no pain relief.

5. I am a fast reader. I can finish a big book in no time, provided it’s interesting. I finished The Eyre Affair in half a day.

6. I am good with kids. No, honestly. And this was even before my own baby arrived. I know how to play with babies and kids. I know what interests them, how to console them, distract them and entertain them. This has been proved on numerous occasions. There is a shy, little girl in my mom’s neighborhood and she hardly talks to anyone, but the first time we met, we both had a blast. She even invited me to her room to look at her teddy. Her mom was shocked! Till this day, the little girl who is not so little anymore comes running to me whenever I visit my mom.

7. I am particularly proud of my knowledge of Hindi film music. I have been listening to Lata, Asha, Kishore and Rafi since childhood and my interest only deepened with age and was further increased after marrying another Hindi film music aficionado.

People who know me can either agree or refute this.

Mischief Personified

That is what my cousin said when she saw Baby N’s photos: ‘Mischief Personified’. She hasn’t seen the baby in person, mind you, this was her reaction after looking at photos. I wonder what she would say when she finally meets him! And her words are true to the last vowel and consonant. My son at 8 months is so mischievous, I feel sad and happy at the same time.

He now understands single word commands. If I say ‘No’ in a serious tone, he knows that he has to stop whatever he was attempting to do. Like trying to stand holding the water filter, trying to get under the bed, putting that piece of dirt in his mouth and so on, the list is endless. But the moment I say ‘No’, he stops in his tracks. My son can shake hands now. If I offer him an open hand and say ‘Shake hand’. he promptly offers his right hand (and always the right hand) for me to shake it. You can see I am beaming with pride.

Diet wise, he eats anything and everything, except for fried items. Roti, rice, vegetables, fruits, popcorn, biscuits, toast, bread – everything. He wants to taste everything he sees – edible or not doesn’t seem to matter. I was holding a lemon the other day and he wanted to taste it. I let him lick and the expression was priceless. I wish my husband was at home to take a picture – that would have been one photo to treasure.

He doesn’t like it if I take away something he is holding. He fake-cries for a second and the next moment he is distracted by something else and he forgets. He was eating a biscuit the other day and I took it away to give him something else to eat and boy, did he scream! He gave me a threatening look ‘Give my biscuit back or else…’ and I promptly gave it back to him. I haven’t attempted anything like this again. Man, is he assertive. Wonder how things will be when he becomes a toddler. Can’t wait for that day!

Helpless

Helpless – that’s what I was the whole of last month. My little baby had bouts of stomach infections one after the other and all I could do was stand back and watch helplessly. As soon as he turned 6 months, he had a very bad stomach infection which lasted for 2 weeks. The infection itself was quite okay. He didn’t have any stomach pain, just pooping every few minutes. The most troubling part of it was the post-poop operation – rashes. He would cry out in pain and I couldn’t do anything. The medicine that the doctor prescribed seemed to trouble him even more and my heart cried every time I applied the medicine. Just when he was recovering and things were looking bright, he had another infection. This whole saga continued for 3 whole weeks.

Everybody, including myself, attributed this to teething. His gums hurt, so he puts everything in his mouth, hence the infection – seemed logical to me. What followed was an investigation as to what exactly was causing the infection. Looking at the kind of things he puts in his mouth, it is impossible to clean everything. Toys, books, phone, his hands, his toes, his knee (not making it up), chair wheels, stroller wheels (ewwww, I know), diaper – you get the idea, right? (Did you notice teether is not on the list? Yeah, he puts everything into his mouth, except the teether. Hey, I know one thing which is not giving him this infection.) We kept a close watch on him. Whatever he put in his mouth was cleaned thoroughly (atleast we tried). We restricted his movements, we changed his feeding bottles, we gave him all kind of medicines – we did everything we could but the infection recurred again and again. One fine day, it occurred to me that all this started just when we introduced a new formula into his diet. When he turned 6 months, we are supposed to switch to the next level and that’s what we did. Little did we know that this will give us endless misery. Thank my stars and the Almighty that the tubelight in my head lit! Once we stopped that formula, my baby is back to normal. He has his once-a-day poops now which is so relieving. (Pun is unintentional).

The little fellow has lost a lot of weight and looks really thin now. That doesn’t mean he is any less active. He can sit without support now, he learnt that really fast. He is very efficient in moving himself to that one place where he can cause the most damage. You leave him in the hall and walk into the kitchen only to see him right behind you. He is going places! He stands up with support and this is making me jittery. That day is not too far when he will learn walking and running and I will be running behind him. Atleast I will lose some post pregnancy weight!

BTW, do you know what is the most often repeated sentence in our house right now? “Don’t eat that”!

Half way there

It feels like it was just yesterday that we brought our baby home and our little fellow is already 6 months old. The past 6 months were like a roller coaster ride – highs of baby grins, cuddles, sloppy kisses and lows of feeding issues, sleepless nights and mood swings. Whatever it may be, the journey sure was interesting.

Ninu is an expert crawler now. He has found a technique which is somewhere in between crawling and all-fours and he is very fast at that. He covers the entire hall in a matter of seconds. He loves going under the armchair and hiding there. He waits until one of us spots him and then he grins widely as if to say “See where I am!”

His grasp is better too. He is slowly learning the princer grasp, he will get there one day. He sits really well with support and can manage for a few seconds without a support. He is more eager to stand rather than sit. His sleep schedule has gone haywire. He sleeps whenever he wants and I am not trying to change it. He wears dangling earrings now and looks just like a girl. I so want to dress him up like a girl. He is teething badly and has a stomach upset every now and then. I know it is normal, but I wish those darn teeth make an appearance soon and put and end to his miseries. We are making progress on the path of solids. He tried mashed carrot and loved it. Palak soup is his favorite now. He has learnt to say ‘Amma’, though he doesn’t know what it means. I love it whenever he utters that word.

When my baby was a few days old, I wanted him to grow up so that he could respond to me. I wanted his face to light up whenever he saw me – and indication that he knows his mother from the rest of the world. I badly wanted to see a smile and see myself in his eyes. When I saw his first smile, I wanted him to coo. That happened and I wanted him to hold me tight. Then I wanted him to crawl around. Then I wanted him to sit. Now I am badly waiting for that day when he starts talking. While I am waiting for the next big thing, I am forgetting to enjoy what I already have. Why am I in such a big rush? Why can’t I enjoy the drooling smiles and toothless grins that I have now rather than eagerly wait for something which will eventually come?  Am I the only one or all mothers are like this?